


Always You

by squintyeyedlwt



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemy to lover, Fluff, Hate, Hate to Love, Highschool AU, Internalized Homophobia, I’m sorry, M/M, Oops and Hi, harryandlouis, it’s mutual we’ve discussed it, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, louisandharry, you’ll kinda hate hary at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 08:35:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13209996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squintyeyedlwt/pseuds/squintyeyedlwt
Summary: "I've always been rude to you because I don't know how to act around you," Harry said."What?" Louis was confused."I like you, Louis. Like, I have feelings for you. And I don't know how to deal with them.," Harry confessed."What are you, 7?" Louis asked, "You were mean to me because you had a crush on me?"ORA highschool AU where Louis hates Harry, and when Harry becomes his Literature tutor, his life is flipped upside down.





	Always You

**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone! 
> 
> i hope everyone enjoys this fic!
> 
> disclaimer: i don’t live in england, and i don’t know anything about how school works there. i did the best i could to make it accurate.
> 
> anyway. thanks to everyone for their support on this fic! 
> 
> enjoy! :)

School- Louis hated it. He always had and he figured he always would. He just wasn't good at anything and he didn't have the motivation to learn. The only subjects he did well in were gym and drama, but those were electives. He never excelled in literature or science class. And he couldn't even be bothered to show up to a math class. 

His mum had tried in his younger years to motivate Louis to go to school, but once he reached secondary school, it was a lost cause. All he cared about was football, and occasionally theater. She eventually gave up and told him, "As long as you graduate, I'll be happy." 

Louis had decided to finish secondary school, but he wasn't happy about it. He was in his last year, and he hated every second of it. He had decided to take choir this year. He had always enjoyed singing but he hadn't done it for class since primary school. Niall, Louis' best mate, had always been really into choir. He figured this would be fun, but he still didn't try in the rest of his classes. So when he came home with a report card of mostly failing grades, it wasn't much of a surprise to anyone.

He laid it down on the kitchen table, and left the room, not wanting to deal with his mum. As he walked up the stairs to his bedroom, he heard her call out his name. He ignored her, and closed his door. He turned on his tv and started to play FIFA. He expected her to come barging in his room yelling and screaming, but, to his surprise, she was calm.

"Louis," she said, slowing opening the door, "We need to talk about this, love." She sat down by him and put her hand on his shoulder.

Louis paused the game and looked at her, "What's there to talk about? I'm failing school, there's nothing else to talk about."

"You need to do better," She said, frowning. It was quiet for a moment and then she asked, "What can we do to help you with your schoolwork?" 

Louis shrugged. He really didn't know, nor did he care. He didn't care about doing well, he just wanted to be left alone. "Mum, there's nothing you can do."

"I think we need to get you a tutor. I really think it might help you," She suggested. 

Louis frowned, "No thanks, Mum." He turned away from her and turned his game back on. Then he asked, "Can we just talk about this later?" 

She sighed, nodded, and then stood up. She put her hand on his head for just a moment, and said, "Don't forget about football practice in half an hour. You need to get dressed," and then she left the room. 

Louis turned FIFA off and grabbed his duffel bag. He packed it with his cleats, shin guards, and football. He quickly changed into his uniform and walked downstairs. He filled his water bottle and grabbed an orange before picking up his keys and leaving the house. Daisy and Phoebe were outside throwing grass at one another. He smiled and waved to them. As they waved back and yelled, "Hi, Louis!" he got into his car and backed out of the driveway. 

The drive to the football field seemed to last ages, and he just wanted to get there already. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music, and when he finally arrived, he grabbed his things and ran over to his team immediately. He put on his cleats and shin guards and looked at his coach.

"We've got a game tomorrow as you're aware. Today's practice will be an easy one," the coach said. Excited murmurs followed his statement, "but we need to practice making goals. That's this team's biggest weakness. So take three laps, stretch, and we'll go from there." Louis, along with the rest of the guys, took off around the field.

-

Louis sat on the bleachers with Niall, drinking the last of his water. Hannah said that she'd be here 10 minutes ago. He sighed, leaning his head back. Niall looked over at Louis, "You know," he said, "you really should get her a watch for her birthday."

Louis laughed, nodding. Just as he was about to reply, her car pulled up. He stood up and walked over to her, "Thanks for joining us." 

"Shut up, Louis," her voice was small and wavering. It sounded as though she had just been crying.

"Hey," he whispered, wrapping one arm around her shoulder, "what's wrong? What happened?" She just shook her head, and Louis asked again, "Tell me, we can deal with it together."

"Well, it's just that..." Hannah began speaking, but she trailed off when she saw a blue car come into the parking lot. She licked her lips and looked up at Louis, "I think that's Harry Styles."

"What's he doing here?" Louis rolled his eyes. If there was one person Louis couldn't stand, it was Harry Styles. Harry's family was rich and snobby. Harry was able to buy his way into every sport he wanted and even into student body president. He had secretly given everyone who would vote for him fifty pounds. Harry was on the varsity football team, he had stolen that position from Louis last year, and Louis had been bumped down to JV. Harry wasn't even good at football. 

Harry and his best mate, Liam got out of the blue car and walked toward Louis and Hannah. Louis didn't mind Liam, but they weren't friends due to Harry. Harry looked at Louis, "Varsity has the field now. So it's time for you to go."

Louis frowned, "I have as much right to be here as you do." He was tired of Harry bossing everyone around.

"My parents bought this land for the school, I own this field. You don't have the right to be here. Get lost." Harry sneered, looking at Louis with disgust.

"Let's go, Hannah," Louis whispered, defeated. He turned around, and was joined by Niall a few seconds later. As they walked to their cars, he could hear Harry laughing at them. "Meet you at my house?" 

"Yeh," Niall nodded, "See you there."

Louis got in his car and just sat there for a few minutes. He watched Harry Styles stretch and rolled his eyes; he had no idea how to even stretch. After a few minutes, Louis drove away. He laughed to himself on the way home, at least he didn't have pay someone to get his place on the team.

-  
As Niall played FIFA, Louis shifted uncomfortably under Hannah's weight. Whenever she slept around him, she insisted that she be nearly right on top of him. He loved her, but sometimes she could be really annoying. He watched Niall score a goal and said, "Man, if only you could do that in real life."

"Shut up Tommo, at least I make goals. That's more than you do," Niall said, hitting Louis' arm.

"I'm defense, you idiot. It isn't my job to make goals. If it weren't for me, the other team would make a lot more goals," Louis smacked Niall right back before continuing, "I wish all the other lads were as good as you, Niall."

"Well," Niall smiled, "I am quite skilled if I do say so myself!"

Louis rolled his eyes, "Shut up, I'm serious. You're the best offensive player. If our entire offense was like you, we'd be better than varsity." 

The next few hours consisted of mostly Niall and Louis discussing football, with the occasional subject of Harry Styles and how much Louis hated him. At midnight, Louis somehow escaped from under Hannah and snuck  downstairs to steal some of his stepdad's beer. In 3 months he would be 18 and old enough to buy his own, but for now he had to be sneaky with his alcohol.

When Louis returned, he gave a can to Niall and grabbed one for himself. They opened their cans and at the same time started to chug them as fast as possible. Niall won, but Louis chose to believe it was only because he cheated. How someone could cheat at chugging beer? He didn't know, but he was convinced Niall was doing it. He grabbed another can, and this time he drank it at a leisurely pace.

Hannah started to stir, and Louis wiped her hair away from her eyes. She woke up and he helped her sit up. 

She yawned and asked, "Have you been drinking?" When Louis nodded, she shook her head in disgust, "Louis, you know I hate it when you drink. You're going to be an alcoholic."

"Oh come on," Louis laughed, "I only drink every once in a while. It's just to have fun."

"Whatever," she shook her head, "I'm gonna go, will you walk me to the door?"

Louis nodded and stood up. They walked downstairs and to the front door. He leaned in to kiss her, but she put her hand up.

"No," she frowned, "I'm not going to kiss you when you're drunk."

"I'm not even drunk, I've only had a couple beers!" Louis whispered, throwing his hands up.

"Okay, well," Hannah opened the door, "I'm not going to kiss you when you've had anything." And with that she left.

Louis rolled his eyes and laughed. He wondered why Hannah had to be so boring. He loved her, but she wasn't willing to try anything new. They had been going out for almost 2 years now, and she wouldn't even let him get past first base. He wanted to try new things, and Hannah just wouldn't let him. He realized at that moment that he was unhappy.

-

"Okay, Mrs. Tomlinson, we-" 

"Deakin. Mrs. Deakin." Jay interrupted the school guidance counselor.

"Oh I'm sorry. Mrs. Deakin, what subjects would you like us to find a tutor for Louis?" The counselor smiled the best he could.

"Mum, this is ridiculous. I don't need any tutors, I can bring up my grades myself." Louis said, getting upset.

"Louis, shhh!" Jay snapped, "He needs tutors for Literature, Algebra 2, and Chemistry. Those are the only classes he's failing, correct?"

The counselor took a moment to look at the computer at Louis' schedule and grades, "The only classes he isn't failing are choir, gym, and drama 3. He's failing the ones you mentioned, and 2 others: ceramics and nutritions."

"Louis, those are the easiest classes. How are you possibly failing them?" She looked to Louis, frowning deeply.

"I dunno, I just don't like them." He answered, shrugging.

"Can he get tutors for them as well?" She asked.

"Unfortunately, Mrs. Deakin," the counselor shifted in his seat, "tutors aren't offered for hands on classes. If he could find someone who would willingly help him, that would be allowed. However, we don't provide tutoring for these types of classes. I can sign him up for the three tutoring courses though. Shall we do that?"

Jay sighed before saying, "Okay yes, let's do that. Louis, you better find kids to help you in those two classes."

"Okay, Louis. Because I like you, I'm going to let you pick your tutors for the subjects, okay?" The counselor smiled, and Louis felt patronized.

"Alright," he murmured, annoyed that he was even doing this.

"Let's start with Chemistry. There's 4 tutors available. Emily Swenson, Hannah Walker, Thomas Smith, and Nicholas Grimshaw." The counselor looked up. 

"Nick," Louis said, "I choose Nick."

Jay titled her head at Louis, "Are you sure you don't want Hannah? She already knows you and how you learn."

"Yeah," he mumbled, "she would distract me." The truth was that he didn't want to spend any more time with her than he had to. But that would be his little secret.

"Okay," the counselor was writing for a moment before he kept talking, "Algebra 2. There's only 2 tutors for this one. Taylor Hall and Steve Aoki."

"Uhm, I don't know either of them..." Louis said, "Who would you recommend?"

"I'll write you down for Steve." he smiled, "Every student he's tutored has improved their grades significantly. Now for Literature."

"Are these kids good kids?" Jay asked, "Will they be good influences on Louis?"

"Of course, they must have straight A's and have 2 hours of community service per month be stay on the tutors list." The counselor answered.

"Okay, thank you. I just wanted to be sure," Jay nodded and smiled.

The counselor nodded, "Completely understandable, Mrs. Deakin. Now Louis, it looks like there's only one tutor left for Literature so I'll just put his name down."

"Okay," Louis shrugged, "Who is it?"

"Harry Styles."

\- 

When Louis and his mum got home, Louis was fuming. 

"I'm not being tutored by Harry Styles. I would actually rather fail the class." Louis said.

"Louis," his mum scolded, "stop being ridiculous. That boy is going to help you get your grade up."

Louis shook his head, "No, mum, he hates me. He'll probably sabotage me."

"Oh for heaven's sake, Louis!" She threw her arms up in the air. They made their way into the kitchen, where Daisy and Phoebe were making something out of Play-Dough. Louis kissed them each on the cheek before opening the fridge. He got out a water bottle and took a drink. 

He slammed it onto the counter and explained, "I'm telling you, he's really out to get me. He's the one who stole my varsity spot on football."

"That doesn't mean he's out to get you, honey," Jay suggested, "It could just mean he really wanted to play football."

"No," Louis sighed, "Niall heard him telling his friends that he was gonna get me kicked off the team. And then that very next week, coach bumped me to junior varsity."

Jay considered Louis' words for a moment, and then reassured Louis, "I don't know why he would have any reason to dislike you, boobear," Louis cringed at the nickname, "but if he's your tutor, it's his job to help you. Plus, you don't really have any other choice."

Louis nodded and Fiz ran into the room. She grabbed Louis' leg, and Louis squatted down to hug her. He and Fiz hadn't been very close over the years, but lately she'd had some bullies at school. Louis had made it his personal business to make sure that she knew she was loved at home if not at school. If it got much worse, Louis told her he would go and beat up the bullies. 

"Hey Fizzy! How was school?" He asked.

"Good!" She answered, "The mean kids only teased me once today. And it was only about my hair."

Louis smiled sadly, "You know what I think? I think you have the best hair out of all of the kids in year five." 

She giggled, hugged him once more, and then ran to the table to play with the twins. Louis stood back up and looked at his mum. She was smiling at him. He knew she loved watching Louis interact with his little siblings. She once told him that it was an "indescribable feeling to watch those tender moments." He smiled back at her. He walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek before saying, "Thanks for getting me the tutors," and leaving the kitchen to go to his room.

He just barely walked into his bedroom when Hannah was calling him. He sighed and answered, "Hey Hannah."

"Hi Louis!" She squealed. He was immediately annoyed by her cheerfulness, "How was your day?" She asked.

"Meh," He said plainly.

"Meh?" She sounded disappointed, "You're not gonna tell me any details?"

Louis rubbed one of his temples and continued, "I got some tutors for the classes I'm failing."

"Am I one of them?" She asked, hopeful. 

Louis didn't want to be rude. He really didn't, but he didn't know how to answer without being blunt, so he just said, "No, I picked Nick Grimshaw."

Hannah scoffed, "What? Why didn't you pick me?"

"You already try to help me, and it doesn't help me. I figured I might as well try something new," Louis explained.

"Okay," Hannah hesitated, "I guess that's okay."

"How was your day?" Louis asked. He yawned, he was already bored of this conversation.

The next at least 20 minutes were filled with Hannah talking about her day. Louis wasn't really listening, but he added an occasional "oh really?" or a "yeah" to make it seem like he was. She talked all about the drama in her friend group and the scandalous break up between the popular school couple. Louis couldn't care leas about anything she was saying.

When Louis finally got off the phone, he sighed and laid back on his bed. Starting tomorrow, he was going to have to meet with his tutors. He wasn't looking forward to it, especially since one of them was Harry Styles. The name left a bad taste in Louis' mouth. He hoped he could hurry and bring his grade up so he wouldn't have to be tutored anymore. He spent the rest of his evening playing FIFA, texting Niall, and thinking about how much he hated Harry. He fell asleep with the light on, and didn't notice when him mum came in and turned it off.

-

Niall spit out his water when Louis told him Harry was going to be his tutor, "Harry Styles?!" 

"Shh!" Louis whisper yelled. They were sitting in the middle of the cafeteria, and Louis didn't want anyone to hear them.

"Sorry," Niall winced. He bent over the table to put his face closer to Louis, "You're kidding,  right?"

Louis shook his head, "I'm afraid not," he frowned, "I mean, he was the only tutor for literature."

Just then, Harry and Liam walked by the table. Liam smiled at Louis, but Harry only rolled his eyes. An entourage of girls followed behind them. Louis didn't get the hype over Harry Styles. What was so appealing about a pretentious, stuck-up jerk? He was so dreading the tutoring sessions. When they got past hearing distance, Niall turned back to Louis.

"So are you gonna go to the tutoring sessions?" He asked.

"I guess," he sighed, "My mum won't let me play football if I don't get my grades up."

"Man, that really sucks," Niall concluded.

Louis nodded in agreement just as the bell rang. They stood up and walked out of the cafeteria. Niall's class was the opposite way of Louis', so they said their goodbye's and went their separate ways. Louis hated walking in the hall alone; it made him feel like a loser. He already didn't have a lot of friends, but he thought that people seeing him walking alone would make them dislike him even more.

He walked into his literature class and sat down in his spot. He pulled out his phone, so one would talk to him. He eventually noticed a presence next to him, so he looked up. Harry Styles was walking towards him. He tried to psych himself up for whatever Harry was going to throw at him now. 

"Aye, Tomlinson," Harry called out. Louis forced a smile, "Just learned I'm your tutor for this class."

"Unfortunately," Louis grumbled.

Harry looked puzzled by Louis' comment, but quickly recovered, "So you're not smart enough to get an A in this class by yourself?" Harry's group of friends who were watching from the other corner of the room laughed.

"Obviously not. If I was, do you really think I'd want to hang around with you?" Louis asked. 

"Woah there, Louis. There's no need to get mouthy," He laughed. Louis rolled his eyes and Harry continued quietly, so his friends couldn't hear, "Okay, listen. I actually take my tutoring very seriously. So we'll meet after school on Thursdays. Show up, do your work, and I'll make sure you get an A, alright? Then we won't have to be around each other."

Louis nodded, "See you then."

"Later, Tomlinson," Harry sneered. He walked back to his friends and sat down. 

The tardy bell rang, and the teacher, Mr. Collins tried to get everyone to quiet down. After a bit of yelling, he succeeded. He took role, and mispronounced half the kids' names in the class. Only a few kids corrected him. 

"Okay, everyone," he announced, "We're going to be checking out copies of The Great Gatsby from the library today."

Louis grumbled to himself. It was a classic novel- Louis' worst enemy. Well, second worst enemy; nothing could take the spot of Harry Styles. Everyone jumped up and headed to the library. Louis walked by himself again, and he hated it. Hannah was a library aide this hour, so she was the one checking out the books.

"I'm going to need your last name please," She smiled at Louis.

"You know my last name," Louis said, confused.

Hannah slouched her shoulders and looked up at Louis, "I was only trying to have some fun with you."

"Oh," Louis mumbled, "okay, sorry."

She handed him the book, and he left. He got back to class, where Mr. Collins was already explaining their assignment.

"You'll have to observe your character, theme, and symbol throughout the book," he said, "and then at the end of the unit, you'll write an essay about it."

Louis sat at his desk and looked at the paper that had been handed out. It said Jay Gatsby, hopes and dreams, and the green light. Louis didn't know what any of this meant, and he didn't really care to find out either. He knew his grade depended on it though, so he took the notes that came along with the paper.

Louis had two equally boring classes that day and once school was over, he just wanted to go home and take a nap. He had Algebra 2 tutoring to go to though, so he slung his backpack over his shoulder and made his way to the coffee house across the street. That's where he and Steve had decided to meet. Once Louis saw Steve, he walked over to him. Louis and Steve had never met, but Steve had emailed him and asked if they could meet on Tuesdays.

"Hey man, how are you?" Steve asked once Louis sat down at the table. The first thing Louis noticed was that Steve had an American accent.

"I didn't know you were American," Louis commented. 

Steve looked taken aback, but smiled anyway, "Yeah man. Moved here at the start of year 11. My dad had a great opportunity."

"That's sick," Louis grinned, "Well, I hope you're liking it here."

"I am, thanks!" Steve chuckled. He pulled out his math book. "So what are you learning about right now?"

Louis hesitated, "Uhm, I'm not really sure. I think it's quadratic equations or something like that."

"Oh, right on," Steve nodded, flipping right to the page they were on, "These are actually kinda fun once you get the hang of it."

Louis looked at Steve like he was crazy. Who in their right mind actually thought maths could be fun? The tutoring session went quick, and Louis actually learned quite a bit from Steve, who knew a lot. It didn't surprise Louis that everyone he'd tutored had passed the class. After thanking Steve, Louis walked back to the school. He didn't have time to go home before practice now.

Niall met him in the locker room, and they changed together. Louis told him about Steve and what a great tutor he was. Niall was happy for Louis, and was just about to say it when Harry walked in. Louis looked at Niall and rolled his eyes. Why did Harry always have to be there?

"Hey lads," Harry greeted them before walking over to his own locker. He grabbed a football and then left without saying anything else.

Niall looked puzzled as he whispered, "That was weird."

"Yeah," Louis agreed, "He didn't have any snarky comments."

"Maybe he doesn't hate us as much now because he's gonna tutor you?" Niall suggested. Louis shrugged when they heard yelling from outside the locker room. It was muffled, so they couldn't understand what was being said, but they could hear a couple people with raised voices. After a moment, Louis decided that it sounded like teasing rather than yelling.

Harry, Liam, and a few other guys walked into the locker room. Harry looked at Louis and said to his friends, "Well would you look at this, lads. Little Tomlinson's getting ready for practice with the big boys."

Today's practice was combined with varsity. The coaches did this so they could get techniques from the other kids, and learn to support each other. Louis loved it when he was on varsity, but now he felt stupid every time someone tried to show him a technique that he had already mastered. He was better than most of the kids on varsity anyway.  

"Shut up, Harry," Niall said through his teeth, turning Louis away from Harry.

Harry's friends laughed, and Harry challenged, "Or what?" Niall just shook his head. He wasn't going to have this fight. Harry continued, "Sorry that you two aren't good enough at football to actually play on our team. Especially you, Louis."

"Just get whatever you came in here for, and get out," Louis snapped.

"Ooh, not very friendly," Harry responded. He went to the cabinet and got out a few footballs. He tossed them to his friends. He said, "See you guys out there. It's not like you're capable of learning anything though," and then they left.

Louis rolled his eyes. He turned to Niall, "I hate him."

"Yeah, that makes two of us," he nodded and stood up, "Come on, we should get out there."

Niall and Louis ran to the field, where everyone had already gathered. They began stretching with everyone else as the varsity coach started giving instructions.

"So, you guys know how this works," he explained, "You'll have one partner from the opposite team, and you'll share techniques and then play one-on-one."

"So," interjected the junior varsity coach, "I'll be announcing partnerships." 

Louis didn't mind having a single partner. He was already friends with most of the guys on varsity, and the one-on-one was fun. The coach started naming off partnerships.

"Niall Horan, you're with Justin Harden. Ethan Rich is with Liam Payne," he announced. There were only two people who hadn't been paired, and Louis decided he wanted to die as the coach said, "And last but not least, Louis Tomlinson is with Harry Styles."

"Well, I guess Literature isn't the only thing he sucks at," Harry said loudly. All of his friends laughed and a few people who Louis considered his friends sniggered.

The coach yelled, "Shut it, Styles," and everyone immediately shut up, "Okay, everyone. Get moving."

Louis stayed where he was sitting. He wasn't about to go over to Harry. If Harry really cared, he'd walk over to Louis. Everyone cleared out and Harry jogged over to Louis. He smiled, "Okay, let's do this."

Louis rolled his neck and nodded, "Might as well get it over with."

Harry frowned and admitted, "You actually probably know more techniques than I do. Do you just want to go into the one-on-one?"

"Uhh yeah?" Louis was taken aback by Harry actually complimenting him. He wasn't sure how to react, "Yeah, let's do that."

Harry tossed the ball onto the ground and they started playing. Louis actually had to give Harry some credit, he wasn't as terrible at football as Louis originally thought. But Louis was still better. Louis easily stole the ball from Harry and dribbled down the field. Harry tried to catch up, but Louis was just faster. He kicked it straight into the goalpost. He heard Niall cheer in the background, and Harry finally caught up to him.

"That was brilliant, Louis," Harry complimented. Louis didn't say anything; he didn't know what to say. Harry added, "No really, I've never seen anyone do what you just did."

"Uhm," Louis stammered, "Thanks?"

"You're welcome," Harry grinned. 

"Why are you complimenting me?" 

"Why not?" 

"You are Harry Styles, right?" Louis was so confused, "You hate me."

Harry looked away for a moment. When he looked back, Louis felt like he was staring into his soul, "That doesn't mean I don't know talent when I see it."

Louis smiled. It was a weird feeling to have Harry Styles, his enemy, actually being nice to him. All the other team members made their way over and they all talked for a while. Harry made his way back over to Liam. 

Liam must've asked how it went because Harry said, "I must be having an off day. Tomlinson beat me, which is embarrassing on its own."

Louis didn't get it. Harry was so odd. He had just been complimenting him, and now he was insulting him. He clenched his jaw. He didn't give Niall a chance to talk to him before he was leaving. He didn't bother changing back into his normal clothes, he just wanted to get out of there.

When Louis got home, his mum had dinner ready for the family. Hannah was sitting at the table. She greeted Louis cheerfully. Louis smiled at her and sat down at the table. She grabbed his hand under the table. He wanted to pull it away, but he didn't want to cause a scene so he just left it.

His mum sat down and looked at Louis, "Would you say grace?" she asked.

"Of course," he answered. This gave him an excuse to pull his hand from Hannah's. He folded his arms and said the prayer. When he was done, everyone dug in.

Louis loved his mum's cooking to say the least. Ever since he was a kid, she'd cook nightly dinners. There were very few meals that Louis actually disliked. They had ham and mashed potatoes tonight. Louis especially loved mashed potatoes. 

"This is great, Mrs. Deakin," Hannah complimented. Louis rolled his eyes; she was such a brown-noser.

"Thank you, Hannah!" Jay gushed.

"Yeah, it's great," Louis said with his mouth full, "Thanks Mum."

"Thank you, boobear. But don't talk with your mouth full," She smiled.

Once they finished dinner, Jay brought out a pie she had made herself. She said they were celebrating Dan's promotion at work. If it were Louis, he would have just bought something. His mum, though, always had to make everything. He wasn't complaining. The pie disappeared quickly with eight people at the table. Everyone cleared their dishes and went their separate ways. Louis went to his room, and Hannah followed him.

For whatever reason, this bothered Louis. He wanted some alone time, and he didn't know why she had to be right at his heels all the time. He didn't know what else he should have expected; it wasn't like she came over to visit with his family. She was there for him. He didn't care, it still annoyed him.

He turned on the tv and got out his Xbox controller. He turned on FIFA and started playing. Hannah groaned and flopped down onto the bed. Louis knew she hated it when he played FIFA while they were together.  That may or may not have been why he did it. Either way, he didn't care about upsetting Hannah right now.

"Louis, why don't you talk to me instead of playing that?" She whined. Oh, how he hated the whining.

Louis shrugged, "We can talk while I play."

"Okay," she hesitated, "I have a question for-"

"Are you kidding me?!" Louis yelled at the screen. Hannah crossed her arms, and Louis turned off the console, "Sorry."

"I have a question for you," Hannah said. Louis gulped, unsure of what to do or say. Hannah didn't wait for him to respond before she asked, "Why did you pick Harry Styles as one of your tutors?"

Louis was immediately filled with anger. Just hearing Harry's name made him want to throw up. He shook his head, "I didn't." When Hannah looked confused, he continued, "He was the only tutor that was available for Literature."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Why are you so distant lately?" She asked.

"Huh?" Louis was taken aback.

Hannah took a deep breath before saying, "You know, Louis. The last week or so, you've been acting weird. You haven't been returning my calls and you don't seem happy when I'm with you."

"Oh, um," Louis tried to think of an excuse. He didn't want to tell her that he was slowly becoming bored of her and thinking of breaking up with her, so he said, "I just have had a lot on my plate. You know, with school and everything."

"Since when have you cared about school?" She raised her eyebrows, adjusting the position she was sitting in.

"Since I was failing?" He tried to answer, but it came out as more of a question.

"Come on, Louis," She took his hands in her own, "Why can't you be honest with me?"

He avoided eye contact, "I am honest."

Hannah rolled her eyes and stood up, "Whatever, Louis. You can call me when you're ready to talk about what's going on."

She left the room and Louis didn't hesitate to reach out and turn his console back on. He didn't care that she was upset or that he had lied to her. He would give it two more weeks, and if she was still getting on his nerves, then he would break up with her. That seemed pretty reasonable to him.

-

Thursday after school came way too fast, and Louis was dreading his tutoring session with Harry. The last bell of the day rang and Louis groaned. He packed up his things as slowly as he could, and walked equally slow to the library, where he and Harry had decided to meet. He saw Harry immediately, chatting with some girl. The girl was clearly smitten by Harry's "charm" and Louis wanted to throw up.

He sat down across from Harry, who didn't even look over. Harry continued talking to the girl, flirting, as Louis got out his copy of The Great Gatsby and his notebook. He watched as the girl twirled her hair and pushed her breasts together to make them look bigger. Hannah always did that when she was trying to get Louis to do something for her. It didn't work; Louis thought it was creepy. The girl finally left, and Harry turned toward Louis.

"Hey Tomlinson," he greeted. He smiled, and Louis did have to admit, he had a nice smile.

Louis nodded, "Harry."

"So, we're supposed to have gotten through chapter three. Have you?" Harry asked. Louis nodded, "Okay. Well, do you have any questions?"

"One," Louis nodded, he turned to the page in the book where Gatsby is introduced. "So, why is Gatsby such a mystery?"

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, finding the same place in the book that Louis was at.

"Well," Louis stared at the page for a second before looking up at Harry. Harry looked at him, and Louis felt like his soul was being stared into. Harry's gaze was so intense and powerful that Louis lost his train of thought, "Uhm, I mean, uh. I just mean that..."

"What?" Harry laughed. 

"Uh," Louis stammered, "Okay, Gatsby is so mysterious. All these people are spreading rumors about him. And then he just shows up for a second and then disappears again. It's weird, and then he pulls that chick away from Nick, and tells her something all secretive."

"That's the point," Harry chuckled. Louis frowned; he didn't get it. "Gatsby is supposed to be mysterious. It'll all make sense later in the story, but you aren't supposed to know much about him right now."

"Why?"

"I can't tell you," Harry shook his head.

"What do you mean you can't tell me?" Louis snapped, "You're my tutor, aren't you supposed to help me?"

"I can't tell you because it'll spoil the story," Harry explained. 

Louis rolled his eyes, "You're so annoying."

"Am I?" Harry asked, a glint of humor in his voice.

"Yeah," Louis affirmed, "And you're rude, too."

"Hmm," Harry pursed his lips, "Not very many people tell me that."

Louis thought back to the girl Harry was flirting with earlier, "Probably because you sleep with half the women in this school."

"What?" Harry laughed, staring at Louis with wide eyes.

"Yeah," Louis nodded, "That girl in here was throwing herself at you. She clearly doesn't have good taste in personality, she only likes you because you're hot."

"You think I'm hot, Louis?" Harry raised his eyebrows.

"No!" Louis exclaimed a little bit too loud. The librarian shushed them and Louis said, "You're human vermin. I'm just saying, girls are constantly sucking up to you because they want to sleep with you."

"Louis," Harry was laughing, "Louis, stop. I'm gay."

"What?!" The librarian had to yell at Louis again for being too loud. "Wait, you're what?" Louis whispered.

"I'm gay. I'm attracted to blokes." Harry explained. 

"I know what it means," Louis rolled his eyes. He wasn't stupid, "I just didn't know you were."

"Well, I am. And you think that I'm hot," Harry teased.

"Shut up, no I don't," Louis held the book up to his face to hide his blush. He didn't know why he was blushing, "Come on, let's stay on subject. So what's with the affair that Daisy's husband is having?"

They talked about The Great Gatsby until Louis wanted to rip his own hair out, and then some more. Finally, the session ended and Harry offered to walk with Louis to the locker room to get ready for practice. On the way over, they made small chat about the weather and different things going on around the school.

Louis admitted, "You know, Harry. You're not as bad of a guy as I thought you were." 

"Thanks, Louis," Just then, some of Harry's friends walked by, and Harry said, "You're not quite as stupid as I thought you were. But you are pretty stupid."

Louis didn't know if Harry was serious or joking, so he just awkwardly laughed. He thought it was a strange thing for Harry to have said. They got into the locker room, where Niall was changing. Niall started to greet Louis, but stopped when he saw Harry. A look of concern washed over him as he looked at Louis. Louis shook his head, meaning that he'd explain later. Some of Harry's friends were in there as well, and they had similar expressions wash over their faces.

Harry explained, "Had to tutor Tomlinson today. He's such a wuss that he had to have me walk him over to the locker room."

The guys laughed, and Louis frowned. He should have known that Harry's nice attitude wouldn't last long- it never did. He sighed and walked over to Niall to change into his uniform. During practice, Louis explained everything to Niall. How Harry was being nice to Louis, even joking around with him, and how Harry had told him he was gay. Niall was just as confused as Louis was. It didn't make sense why Harry was so nice one on one, but so rude when his friends were around. 

The next few weeks went by pretty quickly. Louis' grades slowly started to raise until he had at least a B in every single class, except for Chemistry, which he still had a C in. Things with Harry had been weird. It was the same thing Louis had noticed, one-on-one, Harry was so much fin to be around, but when he was with his friends, he treated Louis like absolute scum. Louis' mum told him to be patient, that everything would work out, and when Louis graduated, he wouldn't have to see Harry Styles ever again.

Louis tried to see things from that perspective, but it was hard. Louis avoided Harry at all costs during the school day, he didn't want to be found while Harry was with his friends. Harry still flirted with every girl in the school. It confused Louis. If Harry was gay, then why would he be talking to all these girls all the time. He guessed that he would probably never understand.

Louis thoroughly enjoyed his tutoring sessions with Harry. Even though it was sometimes hard to understand what Harry was talking about when it came to The Great Gatsby, Harry was really good at explaining things and Louis always left the sessions feeling enlightened. Harry was also so much fun to be around while they studied. They started to get to know each other better, and Louis started to grow fond of Harry. He didn't know if he wanted to be his friend, or if he had feelings for him. He had never had feelings for another guy, and he had a girlfriend. He was incredibly confused by everything that he was felling. He didn't know if he hated Harry or really liked him. 

Louis had never asked Harry about why he had such a drastic change of attitude based on who he was around. That day, Harry had been particularly rude to Louis at lunch. He had called him some names, and made fun of his height. Louis was already self conscious of his size, so this really hurt his feelings. He didn't want to go to the tutoring session that day. He was mad at Harry, and even though he knew Harry would be nice during the session, he didn't want Harry to think it was okay to walk all over him. 

When he got there, Harry wasn't talking to some girl or reading ahead or on his phone. He was patiently waiting for Louis with a bag of candy sitting on the table. Louis sat down. He didn't have the energy to say hi or to smile, he just felt sad. Harry pushed the candy towards him. He shook his head, and pulled out his copy of The Great Gatsby without saying anything. Harry frowned.

"Louis, are you okay?" He asked. Louis just blinked at him, "Look, I'm really sorry for what I said to you today. I could tell it struck a nerve."

Louis nodded, "So I finished the last chapter last night. You were wrong, Daisy never grew on me."

Harry was quiet for a minute, and then sensing that Louis didn't want to talk about it, said, "That's interesting. Daisy really grew on me."

"Why do you like her?" Louis asked.

"She's smart. She realizes that it'd be a bad idea to be with Gatsby. He's a criminal, why would she want to be around him?"

Louis frowned, "Because he loves her."

"Tom loves her, too," Harry argued.

"No, he doesn't. He has an affair with another woman. And she has an affair with Gatsby. They don't love each other, so they shouldn't be together." Louis defended his point of view.

"That's not necessarily true," Harry shook his head and added, "Of course they're going to have hard times, but that doesn't mean they should give up on the relationship. Daisy decided that she doesn't love Gatsby and she's allowed to have that decision. He lied to her"

"So did her husband, though. Plus, he was just a crappy person in general. And even if she didn't want to be with Gatsby, she didn't have to be such a terrible person to him." Louis argued. There was no way that Harry could convince him that Daisy wasn't the worst.

"She wasn't a bad person for not wanting to associate with him," Harry stated.

"Okay, but she's really going to let him take the blame for a crime that she committed?" Louis asked, annoyed that Harry didn't understand, "Plus, he died, so she didn't need to associate with him! And then she doesn't even go to his funeral. It's stupid."

"Okay, Louis," Harry raised his hands, "Why are you getting so heated?"

"I don't know, why are you such a dick to me?"

Harry's mouth dropped open a little bit, but he quickly recovered. He scratched behind his ear, "Uh, I don't know what to say. I know I've said a few questionable things, but-"

"A few?" Louis laughed, "You've bullied me since year 7. You're the reason I got bumped from varsity, you've made it your personal goal to make me feel horrible about myself." Louis didn't know why he had suddenly exploded, but he had. He had opened a can of worms, and there was no stopping it now. He wanted to know why Harry treated him so horribly. Louis had never done anything to Harry, except for be better at football than him. 

"Look, I know I'm not the nicest guy in school, but I've never decided that I had it out for you or anything. I don't actively think 'Hmm, how can I make Louis' life miserable today?' That's never gone through my head," Harry tried to explain.

"That's a bit hard to believe considering you're Mr. Nice Guy to every single person in this school except for me," Louis claimed.

"Have I not been nice to you during our tutoring? I feel that we've become almost friends," Harry murmured. Louis could sense the guilt that Harry was feeling.

Louis sighed, "That's the weird thing, Harry. I came to the first session wanting to rather die than be with you for an hour. But then you were nice, and you treated me like an actual human being. It was refreshing. But then, you offer to walk to the locker room with me, and the second we see your friends, you have some snarky comment to say about me."

"I don't know what to say," Harry looked at the ground.

"It's like you're bipolar. You change so rapidly. You go from complimenting my football skills to whining about how the worst player you've ever seen somehow beat you. Maybe it's because I'm better than you," Louis lectured.

"Thing is," Harry hesitated, "You have a bad reputation. I can't be seen hanging out with you."

"A reputation that you're the cause of!" Louis accused, "If you wouldn't go around telling everyone such horrible things about me, then people wouldn't think I was horrible."

Harry sucked in a breath, "It's not that simple, Louis."

"Look, Harry, I don't care if you don't want to be seen with me. In fact, I don't want to be seen with you. So, you can forget about these tutoring sessions. I'd rather fail than affect your perfect reputation. But just leave me alone, alright?"

"Louis, come on," Harry pleaded.

"Please," Louis closed his eyes for a moment. He packed up all of his things and stood up, "You can tell your friends whatever you want about me, okay? But please stop making jokes directly at my expense."

Louis left Harry sitting in the library, and walked to the locker room. He could feel his throat getting tight, and he fought back tears. He wasn't going to cry about some guy who was rude to him. He wasn't going to cry because people actually didn't want to be seen with him. He wasn't going to cry because he had become such a social reject. But mostly, he wasn't going to cry because he had just broken ties with Harry Styles.

Louis and Niall got ready for practice in silence. When Harry and his friends walked in, Harry didn't say anything; he didn't even look at Louis. Liam followed behind Harry, and looked at Louis. When Louis smiled at him, Liam returned the gesture and nodded. Louis had always liked Liam, he had never participated in the teasing. Practice was long, and partway through, the coach called Louis away from all the rest of the guys.

"Varsity coach wants to talk to you," he said. Louis looked in the distance to see the varsity coach standing there, waiting. Louis nodded and ran over to him.

"Hey Tomlinson," the coach smiled.

"Hey coach!"

"I want you back on the team. I know there's no spots available, but you can be on the bench. We'll need a good player for back up," He proposed.

Louis frowned, "I think I'm good staying on JV, coach. Thank you for your offer, though."

"Why would you ever want to be on JV?"

"Because I actually get to play," Louis challenged, "And my coach values me enough not to get rid of me at the offer of money."

The coach seemed stunned by Louis' answer, but he nodded, "I'm not going to give you another chance."

"Maybe I'll just pay you to," Louis knew he was being snarky, but he didn't care. He smiled, and ran back to his own field. He got right in with the scrimmage and felt more confident with himself.

When Louis got home, he called Hannah and told her that he needed to talk to her about something important. They met up at the park in Louis' neighborhood. He broke up with her. He was quite blunt about it. He told her that he was trying to get all the negativity out of his life, and that she was just bringing him down. She cried; Louis didn't care. He felt like a monster. He told Niall about it, and that he had something important to tell him about Harry. Niall showed up at Louis' door within 10 minutes.

When Louis told him everything, Niall was surprisingly calm about everything. "I knew something had happened when you wouldn't talk to me at all during practice."

"Yeah," Louis nodded.

"So what do you think?" Niall asked, "You were starting to think that he was a pretty cool guy."

"I hate him," Louis answered.

"Ahh," Niall laughed, "Now that sounds more like the Louis I know and love."

"He didn't even really acknowledge that he had been treating me so poorly."

"You don't need someone like that in your life," Niall comforted, "I'm here for you, man."

Louis hugged him, "Niall, you're a good friend."

-

The next day was the first day Louis had been to school in almost 6 years that he could remember not having Harry be rude to him. It was weird, but it was refreshing. Louis was glad that Harry was at least a decent enough human being to take his request into account. The weird thing was that none of harry's friends said anything rude to him either. Louis wondered if Harry had said anything to them. He doubted it- they were brainless idiots who followed Harry's every step. Liam even said hi to Louis in the halls, it was weird. 

Hannah glared at Louis all through Chemistry class. He didn't know what to do. He wished that he felt bad for hurting her the way that he did, but he just couldn't bring himself to feel any guilt. When he texted his mum for advice, she told him to apologize even if he didn't mean it. He approached her after class.

"Hey Hannah," He grabbed her shoulder, "I'm really sorry about breaking up with you on the spur of the moment like that."

"It's okay, Louis," she smiled, "I'm willing to put it behind us, and move forward in our relationship."

Louis' eyes widened and he shook his head, "No! No, I don't want to get back together. I want to break up. I'm just sorry that it happened the way it did."

"So we really are breaking up?" She asked.

"Uh, yeah."

She slapped him. He wasn't expecting it, and his body hit the locker he was standing next to. He saw tears welling up in her eyes and she turned away from him. His face started to throb and people around him were staring. He saw Harry and his friends staring. Harry's friends were laughing amongst each other, but Harry wasn't laughing. He looked like he was longing to make his way over and comfort Louis. He felt himself getting ready to cry, and he was positive that his face was beet red. He ran past Harry, and into the bathroom. He could hear people laughing at him as he passed.

He locked himself in the stall, and let himself break down. He didn't know why he was crying, it wasn't like he cared that much about Hannah anyways. He wasn't going through a lot. Harry wasn't bullying him, he had good grades in his classes, and he wasn't trapped in an unhappy relationship anymore. He heard someone come in the doors and Louis tried to calm himself down. There was a knock on the stall door, and Louis told the person to go away.

"Louis, let me in," a voice said. Louis knew it was Harry. He didn't want to open it. He didn't want Harry to see him in his moment of weakness, plus he was mad at Harry. His body worked faster than his brain, though, and he opened the door. Harry looked sad. "Are you okay?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" He snapped.

"What are you, 12?" Harry popped his neck, "Yeah. I would like to know."

"I broke up with my girlfriend last night," Louis explained.

"And I'm guessing she didn't take it well?" Harry smiled. Louis noticed his dimples. They were cute. He didn't understand why he found Harry so endearing at this moment.

"Obviously not," Louis answered. Harry was grinning, "What?"

"Sorry," he chuckled, "it's just that you can see the lining of her hand."

Louis giggled and looked up at Harry. He hated that he was so much smaller than Harry. He suddenly had the urge to kiss Harry. He looked at Harry's lips- they looked soft. He frowned. He had never thought of another guy like this. He didn't like it. Harry was quiet, and studied Louis' face. Louis got the same feeling he had during their first tutoring session. Harry's stare was so powerful. It made Louis feel weak. He had to get away.

"I..." He pushed Harry to the side, "I've got to go."

"Okay?" Harry turned to watch him leave. "Bye, Louis."

Louis ran straight from the bathroom to his car. He didn't go to class, he had to think for a while. Why had he just had the urge to kiss Harry? He wasn't gay. He had just gotten out of a relationship with a girl. Harry was gay, though. Maybe Harry had been hitting on him, and for some reason, Louis had fallen for it. He didn't know what to do. He wasn't gay. He couldn't be. He liked girls, right? He tried to think back to crushes he had experienced in the past. He couldn't think of any, except for maybe Hannah. But, he didn't really love her, he had just discarded her with no second thought.

He skipped the rest of school, and went home. When he walked in the door, his mum was fluffing the pillows on the couch. She looked up at him, and frowned, "Louis what are you doing home from school so early?" He walked over to her and hugged her, "Louis, what's wrong?"

"I don't know who I am anymore," He admitted, starting to cry.

"Louis?" She hugged him tighter, "What's going on?"

"What do you think of gay people?" He asked.

"What?" She seemed taken aback, but answered anyway, "I see nothing wrong with gay people, Louis. Love is love." He nodded, "Why?"

He shrugged. He didn't want to tell her that he'd been thinking that he, himself, might be gay. She said that she didn't mind now, but what if her own child was gay? What would she do, then? He was too afraid to tell her so he just said, "When I tried to apologize to Hannah, she slapped me."

Jay pulled away from the hug to look at Louis' face. She gasped, and kissed his cheek, "Oh, Louis."

He nodded sadly, and pulled away from her. He threw his bag onto the couch and made his way up to his bedroom. His mum followed him, keeping her distance. He got out his computer and pulled up google. His mum sat down on the bed. He looked at her and requested, "Mum, I'm sorry. I just want to be alone for a while."

She nodded and left the room. Louis searched 'how to know if you're gay' and looked through a bunch of wikihow articles. Some of the clues included remembering things of the past, examining possible crushes, and determining what exactly turns you on. Louis didn't think any of this would help him. He didn't know answers to those questions. He moved on to another article. This one talked about thinking about dreams you've had, or if there's a special friend that makes you feel tingly. Louis' mind turned to Harry.

Did Harry make Louis feel tingly? He didn't know. He knew he had extreme feelings about Harry, but they had always been feelings of hatred. He had never given Harry a chance until he was forced to. And even then, he didn't let Harry get close to him. Harry was so rude. He couldn't have feelings for Harry. He wouldn't let himself. Even if he was gay, that didn't mean he had to like Harry. He didn't.

He tried to imagine what would turn him on. He closed his door and locked it. He pictured Hannah in his head. He didn't feel anything, so he looked up pictures of women in bikinis. They were pretty, but he didn't really feel anything. He looked up pictures of men. He still didn't feel anything. He frowned, was he just weird? Why wasn't he attracted to anyone? He pictured Harry, and he got butterflies.

No. 

He shut his computer and pulled on his hair. He couldn't be attracted to Harry. He sat there for a few minutes in denial before he opened his computer again and logged onto facebook. He searched for Harry and stalked his profile. He studied Harry's pictures. He noticed Harry's eyes. Louis had never paid attention before, but they were so green. He found a picture of Harry shirtless, and he zoomed in on it. He had to admit that Harry was hot. He felt guilty when he acknowledged it. 

Louis spent the rest of the night having an identity crisis. He had never had suspicions that he might be gay before. It wasn't a concern. He had had a girlfriend, he was straight, there was nothing wrong with him. Now, he felt like he had some type of disease. He knew what he was feeling wasn't natural. "I can't do this," he said to himself, slamming his own head into his pillow.

Louis was glad that it was Saturday when he woke up, and that he didn't have to go to school. He laid in bed all day, catching up on The Walking Dead. He needed to write that essay for Literature, but he didn't feel like doing it, so he didn't. He texted back and forth with Niall for a little while, but the conversation didn't have any significance, so he stopped replying. The day went by quickly, and Louis thought about Harry a lot. He hated it. He hated Harry.

Sunday came too quickly, and Louis' mum woke him up to go to church. He rolled over and groaned. It took him a solid 20 minutes to get out of bed, and he had to rush getting ready. He brushed his teeth and put on his church clothes. He went downstairs, where a plate of eggs was waiting for him. He ate them quickly and ran back upstairs to help his mum get the twins ready. He braided Phoebe's hair. Lottie had forced him to learn how to braid a few years ago, so now he was the go-to person whenever one of the girls wanted their hair braided. He didn't mind though, it made him feel special.

Once everyone was finally ready, they all jumped into Jay's minivan and headed off. Louis didn't really like going to church, but his mum wanted to him to, so he did. He knew that she wanted him to be happy, and in her mind, having a good religion brought happiness. That was the only reason he still went. When he moved out, he reckoned he would probably never go again. 

Louis hated church that day. They prayed, sang, and had the sacrament. And then the preacher got up. Louis usually spent his time during church doodling or playing with the twins. But today, he couldn't concentrate on anything but the preacher.

"I feel that I need to discuss a topic with you all that our world has become numb to," he announced through the microphone. Usually he played the guitar or danced or something, but today it looked like he was just going to speak. "Homosexuality is becoming increasingly more acceptable in society."

Louis' eyes widened. His stomach started churning, and he wanted to leave. He looked at his mum, hoping that she wasn't looking at him. She wasn't. He swallowed hard and looked down at his hands. He wasn't gay, he wasn't gay, he wasn't gay. So what if he thought he might be attracted to Harry. That didn't mean he was gay. This wasn't something he needed to pay attention to.

"Same sex attractions of any kind," the preacher continued, "are a sin. The bible tells us that marriage is between a man and a woman. Anyone who goes against this divine rule will be swiftly destroyed."

Louis started to feel light headed. He couldn't think about anything but Harry. Why was he thinking of Harry? He needed to get that boy out of his head forever. The preacher continued talking about how horrible of a sin it is to be gay. He explained that it was something you could never recover from, that even having the feelings would result in your inevitable doom. When the meeting was over, Louis had only one thought: I'm going to hell.

He decided that he needed to avoid Harry at all costs. He couldn't afford to be having these types of feelings when he had so much other stuff going on. He got home and went to straight to his bedroom. He locked the door and started to cry. Why was this happening to him? He wished that he didn't have these feelings. It was wrong. He was wrong. He wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. How could anyone love him if he was like this?

The next day at school, Louis went to first period without even finding Niall to say hi. He saw Harry in the hallway, who smiled at him. Louis looked away as fast as he could, and rushed into the classroom. He sat in the very back corner, away from everyone else, and he liked it that way. He didn't have the motivation to do anything in class, so he just messed around on his phone the entire time. The rest of his day went about the same, and he went home and took a nap.

The next few weeks were hard for Louis. He struggled with his own identity a lot. He didn't want to be gay, but he noticed himself noticing the guys at school more and more. He felt empty all the time. His grade in Literature started to go down again, but he didn't care. He wasn't about to let Harry tutor him. Harry wasn't so rude to him anymore. Sometimes, he still had his moments, but Louis didn't really care. He wouldn't ever tell anyone, but he kind of liked the attention from Harry. It was never mean enough that Louis felt his hate for Harry grow. 

As it got closer to the end of the year, Louis felt so empty. He was usually excited for his birthday, and for Christmas. It was only a month until his birthday, and he hadn't said anything about it. He was usually counting the days down for several months, but this year he just didn't seem to care. Jay was concerned, but whenever she asked Louis about what was going on, he denied that he was having any problems.

One day, Louis and Niall were walking together when Harry walked by. He was alone, and he dropped his books. Louis helped him pick them up. He handed Harry the books, and their hands brushed against each other. Louis felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He tried to ignore it. 

"Thanks for tripping me, loser," Harry barked. He snatched the books out of Louis' hands and walked away.  Louis didn't say anything, he only looked at the ground. He didn't know why Harry had to be such a jerk. 

Niall clenched his fist, "That guy is such a..." The rest of statements consisted of some profanities and choice words. 

Louis laughed, "Yeah, he's the worst." Louis hesitated for just a moment before running after Harry, "I'l talk to you later, Niall."

He chased after Harry until he finally caught up to him. He grabbed his shoulder and turned Harry around, "What was that all about?" He asked.

People were starting to look over, so Harry pushed Louis into a classroom and closed the door. He looked at the ground, "I'm sorry."

"Your stupid friends weren't even there, Harry. I helped you," Louis stomped the ground. "Why are you so adamant on ruining my life?"

"I'm not, Louis," Harry sighed, "I don't know why I do it."

"Well," Louis interjected, "knock it off."

"I'm sorry," Harry pursed his lips, "Look, I think we should start our tutoring sessions again."

Louis laughed, "What?" He shook his head, "No, Harry. Just leave me alone. Don't make comments about me, don't be rude to me, and don't talk to me."

He didn't give Harry a chance to respond before he left the room. Louis heard Harry calling after him, but didn't care. In the corner of his eye, he saw Liam run over to the classroom, and he looked at the ground. He kept walking until he got to class. 

He went through school without thinking of Harry as much as he usually did. When he got to literature, he could feel Harry's stare on him the entire period. He tried to do his work as hard as he could, but it was hard when he didn't understand what he was supposed to be writing. Truth be told, he needed Harry's help, but he refused to speak to Harry. 

Once the bell rang, he ran out of the room as quickly as he could in order to avoid Harry talking to him. He felt overwhelmed, why did he feel the way he did about Harry? He just wanted to live without having to worry about him. Harry was rude, and stuck up, and annoying. There was nothing that Louis should like about him, but he did like him. Those bad qualities were overshadowed by Harry's good qualities. When Louis was alone with Harry, Harry was kind, and charming, and funny. But he couldn't let himself get hurt.

Louis went to meet Nick Grimshaw for Chemistry tutoring after school. They had been meeting at the same cafe that Louis and Steve met at. He dragged his feet along the way. Even with the tutoring, Louis was struggling in Chemistry; he just didn't understand it. He sat down at the table. Nick wasn't there yet, so he pulled out his phone. 

Nick walked in with Harry. Louis clenched his jaw. What was he doing there? Harry was laughing about something Nick said, and his dimples were showing. Louis found is so endearing. No. He couldn't. He forced himself to look away. Nick sat down across from Louis, and Harry sat next to him.

"Hey," Nick grinned, opening his bag to grab his textbook, "I brought Harry along, I hope that's okay."

Louis knew they were friends, but he didn't think they hung out or anything. He forced a smile, "Okay."

Harry played with the rings on his fingers and got out a book to read. Louis thought it was weird that he enjoyed reading so much. Only losers read for fun. Nick and Louis started discussing Chemistry, and Louis did his best to understand. Harry didn't say a word the entire time, but Louis felt his gaze for a lot of the time. 

When the session was over, Louis said bye to Nick. He didn't say anything to Harry before leaving. He walked to the locker room in the school to get ready for practice. He was bored of doing the same old thing everyday. He wanted something new. Niall wasn't there, so Louis knew practice would be boring today.

When it was finally over, Louis went home. His mind wandered, he thought about Harry. He didn't understand him. Why was he so mysterious? Louis never knew what he was thinking. Harry supposedly didn't hate him, but the things we would say showed otherwise. And Harry was always staring at Louis, which was weird. It made him feel self conscious. Was there something wrong with him?

Louis spent the next few days completely trying to avoid and ignore Harry. He went down different hallways, he sat where Harry couldn't see him, and he even skipped football practice. Somehow, he still kept seeing Harry. He was always there. Louis hated it, but he didn't know what to do. Each time he saw Harry, he got butterflies. 

Niall came over to Louis' house afterschool with a pack of beer. Louis had shut himself in his bedroom, so Louis' mum let Niall in. He came into Louis' room and made himself at home. Louis barely acknowledged his existence. He opened his own can of beer and offered one to Louis. Louis denied.

"Why haven't you been coming to practice?" Niall asked. Louis just shrugged, "Louis, Harry Styles isn't even on our team."

"I'd see him in the locker room," Louis murmured. 

"So?" Niall asked, "Even when he was rude to you, you didn't care about that. Louis, it's football. You love football."

Louis thought about it. He did love football, but he couldn't be seen by Harry. It wasn't worth it. He'd rather be off the team than have to see Harry so often. Besides, the season would be over by Christmas anyways. He simply looked at Niall and shook his head, he wouldn't be going to football practice anymore.

"I don't get it!" Niall finished the rest of his can, "All the sudden you hate Harry more than you love football?"

"I don't hate Harry," Louis interjected. 

Niall frowned, "What are you talking about? Yeah you do!"

"No," Louis shook his head, "No, Niall." Louis felt his palms getting clammy. He suddenly felt very hot, and he wanted to run away. He knew if he told Niall that he had feelings for Harry, Niall would be mad at him. He didn't even know Louis might be gay. 

Niall didn't say anything at first. He just looked really confused. Louis avoided eye contact, and he stared at the floor. Then, Niall's eyes started widening, and he pointed at Louis. He knew. Louis picked up his blanket, and buried his face into it. Niall started laughing.

"Louis," he said, "Don't tell me you've got a crush on Harry Styles?"

Louis let out what could only be described as a mixture between a groan and a squeak. He knew the answer was yes, but he didn't want to say it. If he said it, then it would become real. All he knew was that whenever he saw Harry, he immediately got happy and the thought of kissing Harry made him dizzy and if Harry ever said those three magical words to him, he figured he would probably pass out. But Harry didn't feel the same, and he probably never would. So, he couldn't let himself see Harry. That was fine with him if it meant he wouldn't get hurt.

Niall kept laughing and Louis laid back on his bed, still covering his face with the blanket. Niall started ranting about how he had a feeling that this would happen, but he didn't think Louis would ever admit it. He said that even though Louis didn't realize he was attracted to guys, Niall did. Louis wondered who else could tell. 

"Let's go get a burger," Niall suggested, "It might make you feel better."

Louis agreed and off they went. When they got to McDonald's, Louis saw a blue car that he recognized. He didn't know whose it was, but he knew he'd seen it before. He ignored it, and they went inside. They ordered and Louis made sure to get a chocolate milkshake, his favorite. He and Niall sat down and ate their food in silence; they were too busy eating to talk. After a few minutes, Louis excused himself to go to the bathroom. He opened the door just as someone was coming out, and he ran right into them.

"Oops!" The person exclaimed.

Louis looked up to see that it was Harry. He was speechless for only a moment before he mumbled, "Hi."

"Hey Louis, it's been a while," Harry smiled. Louis wanted to melt upon seeing Harry's smile. He realized why he had recognized that blue car- it was Harry's.

"Yeah," he laughed awkwardly. He started to grow anxious and he really had to pee. Harry always caused him to not think straight. Before Harry could say anything else, he blurted "Okay well I have to pee and you have clearly already done that."

"Okay?" Harry frowned, moving out of Louis' way. Louis walked past him, "See you later."

Louis hurried and then ran back out to Niall. Niall had probably seen Louis walk in and then Harry walk out. He was smirking at Louis. Louis shook his head, but couldn't stop the smile that was starting to form on his lips. He was gone for his mortal enemy.

"Let's go!" He urged Niall. They practically sprinted outside to the car, and that was that.

-

Louis soon realized that it was impossible to escape seeing Harry. He was quite literally everywhere that Louis went. Louis wasn't sure if Harry was stalking him or if it was just a coincidence. Either way, it seemed really weird to him. He had never seen Harry this often when he didn't have feelings for him. Maybe he did, but he just didn't notice. 

Louis went to the grocery store to buy a few things for his mum. He ran into Harry in the dairy aisle. Louis went to the library to renew some of Daisy and Phoebe's books. Harry just happened to be checking out some classic literature. Louis stopped for gas at a gas station that he hardly ever went to, and Harry was filling up one of his tires with air. 

Everytime they saw each other, Louis was filled with excitement. He didn't want Harry to know that, though, so he would always panic and leave the situation as quickly as possible. Secretly, Louis loved seeing Harry in public so often. He couldn't see Harry at school, he wouldn't let himself. But if they just happened to run into each other? Well, that was something else entirely. He couldn't control that.

The only problem that Louis had with everything that was going on was the fact that it was a guy he was attracted to. He had always taught in church and everything that being gay was a sin. He continued struggling with this. He wished he didn't feel the way he did. In fact, he hated himself for it. He skipped church against his mum's wishes. He didn't want to hear about anything that might already make him feel worse than he already did.

Louis' birthday was in 6 days, he would finally be eighteen. It was a Friday, and Louis and Niall were walking in the hallway after school. Louis had come out to the closet officially to Niall last night. Niall of course had already told Louis previously that he had suspicions of Louis being attracted to guys, but this sealed the deal. It was official now. Niall had been really supportive about it all. Louis had been crying, saying that he wished he wasn't. Niall told him that it didn't matter who he was attracted to, he was still an amazing person and friend. Louis was grateful for Niall.

Louis knew that the next step was coming out to his family, but he was afraid. He was ashamed of who he was. He knew that his siblings, especially Lottie would be angry. Lottie was always talking about how she wanted Louis to marry a really nice girl and have kids quickly so she could be an aunt. Louis didnt know how his mum would react. He knew she would still love him, but would she be angry? He didn't want to find out. He was unsure about Dan's reaction as well. 

He and Niall stopped at Niall's locker, and Louis could see Harry across the hall. His stomach erupted in butterflies, but he tried to suppress it. Harry waved at Louis, and Louis smiled for a brief second before looking at the floor. Just a second later, Harry was standing right next to Louis. Louis noticed Niall glaring at Harry.

"Can I talk to you, Louis?" He asked, clearly uncomfortable by Niall's gaze.

Louis nodded and told Niall he'd talk to him later. He followed Harry into an empty classroom. Harry walked around the desks for a few minutes, and Louis just watched him. He tilted his head. What was Harry doing?

"So," Louis broke the silence, "you wanted to talk?"

Harry's head snapped towards Louis, "Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out where I want to start."

"How about why you've been stalking me the last little while?" Louis suggested.

Harry laughed, "Not really stalking."

"What would you call it then?"

"Being at the right place at the right time," Harry answered. He smiled.

Louis put his hand over his face, "Okay, well what about when I told you I didn't want you to ever come around me again?"

"Louis," Harry grinned, "I know you liked seeing me all those times."

"Well," Louis tried to come up with something to say, but he was speechless. Harry was right. Harry touched Louis' cheek with his fingertips, and Louis could feel himself getting goosebumps.

Harry smirked, he knew exactly the effect he was having on Louis, "Just admit it."

"Hey," Louis pushed him away, "Just because I liked it doesn't mean it's okay. I told you I didn't want to see you. You're rude to me."

"I'm sorry."

"You've never told me why you've always been so rude. You say you don't know, but there has to be a reason," Louis pressured him.

"Okay," Harry nodded.

Louis couldn't believe it. Harry was actually going to tell him why he had undergone years of bullying. He licked his lips and widened his eyes. He wanted to take in every single word that Harry was about to say. 

"I've always been rude to you because I don't know how to act around you," Harry said.

"What?" Louis was confused.

"I like you, Louis. Like, I have feelings for you. And I don't know how to deal with them.," Harry confessed.

"What are you, 7?" Louis asked, "You were mean to me because you had a crush on me?"

Harry nodded, "And I knew I had to get you alone to really know you. So I made sure I was the only one on the tutor list because I knew you were failing. You hated me. I mean you really hated me, but somehow I cracked your shell."

"And you were still rude even then," Louis snorted.

"It was hard to change my behavior. I was really trying, Louis."

"Okay," Louis took a deep breath, "What about when you were alone and dropped your books and then you said I had tripped you?"

"Our hands had touched," Harry smiled in memory, "And I felt the fire. It scared me, so I didn't know what else to do. It was like a defense mechanism." Louis was quiet for a minute. It worried Harry, who asked, "Louis, what are you thinking?"

"You really have feelings for me?" He asked.

Harry nodded. Louis grabbed Harry's hands. They were cold, and Louis wanted to hold them forever. Their faces got closer and closer until they could feel each other's breath on their lips. Louis knew this was wrong, but nothing had ever felt so right. "It's you, Louis." Harry whispered.

And then it was the fireworks. Louis didn't realize what had happened until it was over. His lips tasted like mint and he felt woozy. Harry had just kissed him. Louis didn't know what to do or what to say. Harry looked at him with hope in his eyes, but Louis couldn't take it. He was actually going to pass out if he stayed here much longer. He had to leave.

"I'm sorry," Louis' voice cracked, and he ran out of the room. He heard Harry calling his name, but it was too late.

He ran to his car and drove straight home. He was crying, and he didn't know what to do. Harry had kissed him. It was everything he had wanted, and he had just ruined it. He couldn't think straight. When he got home, he avoided his mum and all his sisters. He went straight into his room, and didn't come out. He stayed in there all weekend. He just laid there. He didn't eat or sleep. He didn't play FIFA or mess around on his phone. He snuck out a few times to use the bathroom, but then he went back to bed. He didn't know what to do. He had ruined every chance he could have with Harry. He wished he was normal. He hated himself. 

When Monday morning came around, Louis somehow dragged himself out of bed to go and shower. He only had to go to school today and tomorrow and then it would be Christmas break. He was okay with that. He drove to school with the radio blasting so he wouldn't fall asleep. He was exhausted since he had gotten barely any sleep during the weekend. 

When he saw Harry, he did wave or smile. He didn't get butterflies, he felt guilt. His stomach started churning and he wanted to cry again. Harry didn't say anything either, he just looked the other way. Louis needed to talk to Niall desperately, but Niall was on vacation in America all of this week, and next week. He didn't know what to do. Louis went throughout his day feeling very blue. Harry didn't show up to Literature class; it worried Louis.

The next day was similar. Louis went home feeling sad. He wanted to fix things with Harry, but he didn't know how. He wanted to ask him mum for advice, but he wasn't ready to tell her that he was gay. He came up with a solution. While she was making dinner, Louis wandered into the kitchen.

"Mum, I need advice," He said.

"Okay, boobear," she smiled at him, "Tell me what's wrong."

"So there's someone at school who I kinda have feelings for," he started, "and on Friday they kissed me. And instead of telling them that I feel the same, I just kinda ran away."

"Louis!" Jay exclaimed.

"I know, I know," he sighed, "Anyway, I want to fix the situation. I want to tell them that I do feel the same, but they're kind of avoiding me now.'

"Well," She said, squinting her eyes at Louis, "Do you know where this person lives?"

"Yeah, he-" His eyes widened and he quickly fixed his mistake, "They live in one of the biggest houses in town."

Jay nodded, "You should go to the house and apologize there."

"Okay," Louis agreed, standing up.

"Eat dinner first, Louis," she commanded.

He obeyed her wishes. He sat down for dinner with his family- they were having chicken noodle soup. Jay announced to everyone that it was going to be Christmas in just a few days, and she needed a helper to finish wrapping presents. Fizzy volunteered.

"Don't forget about Louis' birthday, Mum!" Lottie announced.

Jay simply smiled, "Oh, I could never forget about my favorite son's birthday."

"So I'm your favorite kid?" Louis asked, raising his eyebrow.

"My favorite son," Jay corrected, "not my favorite child."

"So who is your favorite child?" He challenged.

She rolled her eyes, "I love you all equally."

"Mmhmm," Louis nodded, smiling, "Sure."

"Go visit your friend now, Louis," she said, trying to change the subject.

Louis wasn't about to argue. He grabbed his coat and his keys, and then he was gone. Harry lived on a hill, and his house wasn't one of the biggest, it was the biggest. His parents were so rich that Louis figured Harry's bedroom was probably as big as Louis' entire house. He hoped he could find out. He hoped Harry wasn't mad at him.

When he finally pulled up to the house, he was lucky that the gate was open. He saw Harry's blue car parked by a fountain and he parked next it. Side by side, you could tell that Harry's car was much nicer. He found that his palms were getting sweaty, and he walked up to the door. It was much bigger than he originally thought. He knocked, and then waited. A tall man answered the door who Louis guessed was probably Harry's dad. He looked down at Louis, waiting from him to speak.

"Uh h-hi," Louis stuttered, "Is Harry home?"

"Who is it?" Louis heard a woman hiss behind the door.

"Who are you, if I might ask," He forced a smile.

"My name is Louis Tomlinson," Louis answered, "Harry and I go to school together."

"It's the Tomlinson boy," Harry's dad said to the woman. She said something in return, but Louis couldn't quite catch it. He tuned back to Louis, "I don't think you should-"

"Wait!" Louis interrupted. Harry's dad frowned and Louis swallowed, "Sorry, sir. Harry and I are partners in a school project, and we need to finish it."

Louis knew this was a lie, but it was the only thing he could think of that might work. To his surprise, it did work. He was invited inside, and told which direction he could go to find Harry's room. He looked around. The inside of the house was absolutely beautiful. There were several chandeliers, and he could tell that all of the furniture was very expensive. He walked up the stairs and down a hall to find Harry's room. He had been told it was the third one down, but on which side? All the doors were closed and each room was exactly across from each other. He decided to go for the left. He knocked on the door. There wasn't a reply at first, so he knocked again. When there wasn't a reply, he tried the knob.

"Louis?" Harry's voice caused Louis to flinch. He turned around to see Harry in the doorway to the bedroom across the hall. 

"Harry," Louis breathed. Harry sure was a sight for sore eyes. Harry was only in boxers and Louis' mouth started to become dry.

"Come in here," he said, ushering Louis into the bedroom. 

Louis looked around. Harry's room was beautiful. The walls were grey, but the ceiling was black. There were glow in the dark stars all over the ceiling. Harry's bed must have been king sized, and there were about a thousand pillows on it. There was a couple chairs on one side of the room, and even a huge flat screen tv. An entire bookshelf was filled to the brim with books. There was also a door leading out to a balcony. It was so luxurious that it reminded Louis of a hotel room. There were pictures of Harry and his friends everywhere. There was even an entire wall dedicated to holding medals Harry had been awarded. Harry grabbed a robe from inside his closet. Louis imagined it was probably a walk-in closet.

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked.

"I had to explain myself to you," Louis answered. He sat down on Harry's bed. Wow. It was soft.

"There's nothing to explain, Louis," Harry sighed, "I get it."

"No," Louis shook his head, "Harry, I feel the same as you do." Harry didn't say anything, just stared at Louis, "I did hate you, but I don't know what came over me. I just felt overwhelmed the other day and I didn't know what to do, so I left. But I have feelings for you too."

Harry smiled, "So it's mutual?"

"Yes," He pulled Harry down onto the bed with him. He looked at his lips, unsure. Harry laughed, causing Louis' heart to melt, and then they kissed for the second time. Louis didn't take it for granted this time. He had never imagined that he would feel comfortable kissing another boy, but everything about this felt so right.

When they finally pulled away, Harry asked, "So, are we going to be like a thing now or what?"

"I don't know," Louis shrugged, "Maybe? I haven't come out to my family yet. I'm not even sure I've really come out to myself."

"We can work on that," Harry whispered, his lips barely touching Louis'. Louis smiled and nodded. They would work on it.

"I can't believe you don't hate me still," Harry admitted.

"I do," Louis laughed, "But there's a very fine line between love and hate."

-

Louis and Harry started texting nonstop after this. The next few days consisted of Louis locked away in his room because he didn't want anyone around while he was talking to Harry. On his birthday, Louis got his mum to agree to him going over to Harry's house. He drove over and walked into Harry's room. There were balloons and a few presents on the bed. Louis smiled to himself. Harry was sitting on one of the couches reading a book, but jumped up as soon as he saw Louis.

He greeted him with a kiss, "Happy birthday, Louis."

"Thank you!"

They spent the whole day talking and laughing. Louis knew Harry had a fun side to him, but he never thought that he would be able to be around it so much. They also spent a lot of their time kissing, and Louis was okay with that. When it was close to dark, Louis had to head home, but he promised that he would text Harry as soon as he got home. He was true to his promise.

Throughout the next few weeks, they kept going on dates here and there. They didn't tell anyone that they were dating, they were going to wait until Louis felt comfortable. It was clear to everyone that they were at least friends, though. Sometimes when they were at school, and they couldn't handle it anymore, they would sneak into a bathroom stall and kiss a little bit. Or a lot.

Louis continued struggling with the fact that he was gay. He loved being around Harry, and he wouldn't trade him for the world, but it was still hard. He was afraid to tell his family. Harry comforted him a lot. He told him about his coming out experience, how afraid he was. And that it was going to be perfectly okay.

"They're going to accept you, Louis," Harry had said, "And if they don't, then that's their problem."

This statement somehow had helped Louis, and when he sat down his mum it was in the back of his mind. It took him a few minutes to finally get the words out. But when he finally did, Jay reacted so much better than Louis could have ever dreamed. He was grateful.

"Louis," she had whispered, pulling him into a hug, "I will never stop loving you no matter what happens."

"You're okay with this then?" He asked.

"Boobear, I already knew," She squeezed him tighter, "I have always known."

That made him feel good. He loved his mum more than anyone in the entire world. 

When Louis told Niall that he and Harry were dating, Niall seemed unsure, but he said he'd learn to accept. He eventually did, and he was glad that Louis was finally happy. He was. Louis could never describe himself as truly happy until this moment in time. He had Harry Styles, his enemy, to thank for that. Suddenly, school didn't seem quite as bad to Louis. He wasn't being bullied, Harry was helping him raise his grades, he slowly became popular, and once he finally came out to everyone at school, he had a ton of support.

One day, Harry asked Louis how he had managed to change his life in just a matter of months. Louis smiled, his answer was simple. 

"It's you, Harry. Always you."

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone!
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> leave comments on what you thought please!
> 
> thanks for reading!


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